Purple Sequin Bikini...

I've been reading other people's blogs lately and they are inspiring.  So insipiring that they make me want to write about my own mundane life.  Because what better thing to do than to impart on all you people the utter weirdness and monotony of my life;o)

And now on to the title of this post.  I bought one. A purple sequin bikini, that is.  I had a friend once that was telling me of her belief that every person has an unstoppable urge to buy certain things.  For her it was lingerie (I have this problem too occasionally), for her sister-in-law it was sheets. Bed sheets. That is, at least, a useful thing to have a lot of.  At the time I didn't think that I had any one thing that I really couldn't get enough of.  Since then, however, I have discovered that I have an unstoppable urge to buy swimming suits.  I love buying swimming suits.  Which is completely weird because I really don't go swimming all that often.  I might go to the beach two or three times a year. But every year I buy at least one new swimming suit if not two.  This year I promised myself I would be good, I told myself over and over that I already have 8 practically brand new swimming suits that are still super cute and look good on me and there is absolutely no reason why I need any more swimming suits.

Then I was watching TV (which is the devil) and I saw this girl in this totally cute, rather skimpy, red sequin bikini.  And I HAD to have one!  Unfortunately I couldn't find one anywhere, except "swimsuits" offered by adult clothing stores....which, while cute in a "i might possibly be worn in the bedroom only" sort of way, don't exactly fit my need for a swimsuit, which is to be worn around people other than my husband.  I did find a perfect plum colored sequin bikini though...and since the color was exceedingly vibrant and beautiful, I decided that red was overrated.  So, I bought a purple sequin bikini.  It will be here in the mail in a few days;o)

Now, to add to all of the reasons that I really don't need a new swim suit, I am pregnant.  I am only 11 weeks along right now, and not showing very much, but before too much longer, I will be sporting a nice baby bump, and its probably not really necessary for me to inflict my baby bump in all its bareness in a purple sequin bikini on the beach this summer.  So, to all of you that will have to see that, I apologize in advance.  But really, it can't be that much worse than all the other crazy things you might see on the beach, can it? ;o)

the truth of the matter...

i just watched the first season of army wives...i've found that i don't often just write, or blog, or journal...i pretty much have to have a "trigger event" or a subject to write about before i can think of anything to say....but...in response to this show, what i think is that....in many things, as always when it comes to tv and media, there were inaccuracies...but...the truth of the matter is...it is hard...people always say to me, "i don't know how you do it..." and the truth of the matter, is again, it is hard...when i think of the army wives i've known...i think of the "crazy" ones, the ones who left, the ones who bring the wrong problems up to command, the ones who are having affairs, the ones who don't have jobs, the ones who have the wrong kind of jobs, the ones who have a million kids, the ones who don't have any kids...and when i really think about...and see...i see that it is hard...our lives are hard...our choices are hard...dealing with the stress is hard...
i am a college graduate with interest in helping children in third world countries develop....i want to travel the world...i've worked at a bank for three years and i'm tired of telling people that they are wrong - i want to help them be better, to teach them how to avoid being wrong...but the truth of the matter is...jobs are not easy to find, where you can take off at any time to be with your husband who has been gone for a year...the truth of the matter is...jobs are not easy to find that you might be moving across the country at any given time...the truth of the matter is that it is almost necessary to be a stay at home wife, when your husband is in the military...because things that normal people do, soldiers don't have time for...picking up dry cleaning, going to the grocery store, paying bills, cooking, creating a home, cleaning, raising kids....those things are all the logistics of life...but the truth of the matter is...
there is a really high divorce rate among enlisted men in the military...i propose that it is a much higher rate than what is ever published...a soldier requires a big support network...the army would attest to that, as for each "fighting" soldier on the line there are perhaps as many as 100 support soldiers behind them just there to provide for the needs of the soldiers on the line...i see so many young men in the military who are searching for a wife...these men are 18 years old...maybe a few years older...what they are really looking for is a reason to come home...a home to come home to...the truth of the matter is that my job is to create this home for my husband...to maintain my home, myself, my very sanity, so that my soldier has something to come home to...and when he is home, my job is to reinforce his confidence...to thank him for serving his country as he does, and to keep myself together enough to provide him with the courage to leave again...
so...the truth of the matter is that sometimes even we don't know how we do it...how do you work together in a marriage where after 5 years together, you've only lived 2 of them in the same house? how do you stay intimate and together as one in marriage when your husband cannot tell you large portions of things that happen when you are apart? how do you raise your kids as a single mom...when you aren't single at all? how do you live a life where you die to your own desires almost every day, where your own dreams get put on a back burner, and your own hopes can be dashed with a ringing phone and a "yes, sir" that is replied....the answer is that we don't know...we don't know how we do it...but the truth of the matter is...from where i am sitting, the american military wife is more courageous, more self sufficient, more loving, generous, and heroic, than any other group of people i know...so here is to you ladies...to all of you i have ever met...the truth of the matter is...you are my heroes

A Tree Planted

Jeremiah 17:7-8 (New International Version)
7 "But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,

whose confidence is in him.
8 He will be like a tree planted by the water

that sends out its roots by the stream.

It does not fear when heat comes;

its leaves are always green.

It has no worries in a year of drought

and never fails to bear fruit."

Someday I hope to be this...

God and Time...

This is a few lines from the book "Life Support" by Robert Whitlow...the book is ok but this paragraph is extraordinary...

And the Holy Spirit moved across Alex Lindale's heart It was a divine moment - a delayed response to the faith filled prayers of an Ohio farm wife who had quietly walked into the upstairs bedroom where her darkhaired granddaughter slept and asked that the child's life might one day shine with the light of Jesus Christ. The passage of a quarter of a century is less than the width of an eyelash in the perspective of eternity. All God-inspired prayers are answered in the fullness of time.

Inertia...or the pinball machine...

the ball that began rolling for ryan at the beginning of the year has been rolling faster and faster lately, and now is about to plunge into that deep dark place known as "deployment"....ick...i know that for the crowd i put on that stoic face. the one that says i can do this, no big deal. but really, its going to suck. i hate every moment that he has to be at work right now, and even more the moments i have to be at work while he is home...the last few days of him being home...and that year of darkness is yawning, it mouth opening wider, about to swallow me. i'm really not sure how i am going to make it through this one...not like there is a choice really, but i already feel battered like the ball of a pinball machine...