the truth of the matter...

i just watched the first season of army wives...i've found that i don't often just write, or blog, or journal...i pretty much have to have a "trigger event" or a subject to write about before i can think of anything to say....but...in response to this show, what i think is that....in many things, as always when it comes to tv and media, there were inaccuracies...but...the truth of the matter is...it is hard...people always say to me, "i don't know how you do it..." and the truth of the matter, is again, it is hard...when i think of the army wives i've known...i think of the "crazy" ones, the ones who left, the ones who bring the wrong problems up to command, the ones who are having affairs, the ones who don't have jobs, the ones who have the wrong kind of jobs, the ones who have a million kids, the ones who don't have any kids...and when i really think about...and see...i see that it is hard...our lives are hard...our choices are hard...dealing with the stress is hard...
i am a college graduate with interest in helping children in third world countries develop....i want to travel the world...i've worked at a bank for three years and i'm tired of telling people that they are wrong - i want to help them be better, to teach them how to avoid being wrong...but the truth of the matter is...jobs are not easy to find, where you can take off at any time to be with your husband who has been gone for a year...the truth of the matter is...jobs are not easy to find that you might be moving across the country at any given time...the truth of the matter is that it is almost necessary to be a stay at home wife, when your husband is in the military...because things that normal people do, soldiers don't have time for...picking up dry cleaning, going to the grocery store, paying bills, cooking, creating a home, cleaning, raising kids....those things are all the logistics of life...but the truth of the matter is...
there is a really high divorce rate among enlisted men in the military...i propose that it is a much higher rate than what is ever published...a soldier requires a big support network...the army would attest to that, as for each "fighting" soldier on the line there are perhaps as many as 100 support soldiers behind them just there to provide for the needs of the soldiers on the line...i see so many young men in the military who are searching for a wife...these men are 18 years old...maybe a few years older...what they are really looking for is a reason to come home...a home to come home to...the truth of the matter is that my job is to create this home for my husband...to maintain my home, myself, my very sanity, so that my soldier has something to come home to...and when he is home, my job is to reinforce his confidence...to thank him for serving his country as he does, and to keep myself together enough to provide him with the courage to leave again...
so...the truth of the matter is that sometimes even we don't know how we do it...how do you work together in a marriage where after 5 years together, you've only lived 2 of them in the same house? how do you stay intimate and together as one in marriage when your husband cannot tell you large portions of things that happen when you are apart? how do you raise your kids as a single mom...when you aren't single at all? how do you live a life where you die to your own desires almost every day, where your own dreams get put on a back burner, and your own hopes can be dashed with a ringing phone and a "yes, sir" that is replied....the answer is that we don't know...we don't know how we do it...but the truth of the matter is...from where i am sitting, the american military wife is more courageous, more self sufficient, more loving, generous, and heroic, than any other group of people i know...so here is to you ladies...to all of you i have ever met...the truth of the matter is...you are my heroes